Drunks Against Drunk Driving

I really have no idea how many times I drove drunk. When my drinking was at its height, I think I drove drunk a few times every week. And I didn't seem to care. Even after I was convicted of my first drunk driving, I did not want to stop drinking. I thought I was just "unlucky" that I got caught. My drinking also evolved into drug abuse and I regularly combined alcohol and illegal drugs. It became a way of life for me.

Finally, after years of drinking and many consequences, I decided that "enough was enough". I could never even image a life without alcohol. I finally sought treatment a few years ago and I have managed to stay alcohol and drug free ever since. I now have a renewed relationship with my family and no longer risk the lives of others by driving drunk. The life I thought I would never have, is now the life I live! Free from drugs and alcohol.

Anonymous - Wisconsin

The definition of DUI is "Driving Under the Influence". Using that definition, I have driven drunk hundreds of times. I prefer to use this perspective when examining my drunk driving days as it emphasizes how bad I used to be. I have split a telephone pole in half with my car. I've found myself in a ditch with a blood alcohol level of 0.26 on a sunny Monday afternoon. Yet, even those experiences didn't stop me from drinking. Why? I'm an alcoholic and I never sought to receive treatment for my problem.

For years, there was no doubt in my mind that I was an alcoholic but, I didn't know how to stop. For years, I would wake up each morning and tell myself that I wouldn't drink today but, by the end of the day I was drunk again. Eventually, I finally reached a turning point and seeked help. I first seeked medical help and I was able to de-tox from alcohol. I also got involved in an on-going program of recovery and now I haven't had a drink in over 6 years. Not only that, but I have a new life of happinest that I never thought was possible. I drank for over 25 years. If I can stay sober than anyone can.

Anonymous - Mequon, WI

My sister was in town from Colorado last week.   For the first time since my mother died, and that was twenty three years ago, we looked through the old family pictures.   I noticed something common in most of my pictures; I was smiling, and seemed very happy.

A couple of things came to mind later that day; the first thing was a television commercial that aired a couple of years ago.   The commercial included young children mentioning what they wanted to be when they grew up.   They made statements like “when I grow up I want to be an alcoholic” or “when I grow up I want to be a drug addict”.   The second thing that came to mind later that day was “what happened to that smile in all the pictures?

I never wanted to be an alcoholic, I never wanted to hurt the people that were close to me, I never wanted to endanger the community by driving drunk, but these are exactly the things that I did.   So many times I asked myself “why”?   But, actually, early on, I was asking “why me”.   All my issues, all my concerns, all the garbage in my life was somebody else’s fault.

I used alcohol for so many reasons, but mostly to escape the responsibility of owning up to myself and who I had become.   I grew up in a family where failure, in any form, meant weakness.   This mindset made it impossible for me to be honest with my friends, family and even myself.   I lived for years being very lost.   People who cared were shut out of my life.   I needed to push them away because I couldn’t take the chance that they just may be honest with what they saw in me.

The depths of an alcoholic’s life are very dark and lonely.   A life is clouded with depression and loss of hope.   If one stays in this cloud, an early death is all but certain.   And, contrary to the alcoholics thinking, his or her actions are not without victims.   So, how can hope (the smile on a young boy’s face) be restored?   The beginning is the realization of the problem and then the acceptance of help from others.   The steps I use in my recovery program cover this so well.

I am about as stubborn as a person gets.   I needed to lose a lot of my self reliance and pride for the early steps of recovery to take root.   My OWI’s led to jail time and eventually prison time.   As dangerous as I was, and as sad as all this sounds, it was the blessing from God that marked the beginning of my recovery.   I finally realized that the world doesn’t revolve around me.   I finally was brought to a place where I could listen to good reasoning from people who have been where I have been and now know a better way of living.

I’m still stubborn, I still have days where I need the world to cater to me, but I surround myself with people who help me lift the cloud before it becomes a storm.   I remind myself that today is a gift and to make the most of this blessing from God.   I act differently because I think differently.   And, I don’t go it alone. I now have a new life and new hope.   I wrote this to give back a little of what I was so freely given. I hope that it helps you in some way.

Anonymous - Saulkville, WI